Dealing With Grief

Romans 8:18, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

In spite of we as Christians have been told we just like every other person in this fallen world go through times of grief. One author put it this way, “Grief never ends, it’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith, It is the price we pay for love.”

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” When I was dealing with the loss of my daughter to cancer, I will be honest and say that I didn’t like this scripture very much. How could something so horrible ever work together for any good…ever, and even today it’s a tragedy in my life that I still don’t care to think about but I have learned several things as result of handling grief.

Grief can either destroy you or can motivate you and for me it has allowed me to become more compassionate to others especially those that have experienced loss similar to what our family has. Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” We receive comfort from not only Gid but from others.

It definitely gave me a different perspective on precious, how fragile life, and how short life is, James 4:14, “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

Grief has allowed me to not be fearful of showing emotions for I once took great pride in keeping my emotions in check. We are often told and have told our children to not cry or to suck it up and take it like a man. With the loss of my friend Russ, then my son Jeff, and then my daughter Sarah I found that I could no longer control those emotions and you know what? Its Okay! Isaiah 53:3, “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Jesus knew grief and likewise understands the grief we suffer as well.

So, with that, I would like to talk about the bit “D”, yes “Depression”. Something that we as Christians ignore and claim that we are immune to it since we are filled with the Spirit of God. After the culmination of the three deaths in a relatively short time even though at the time I would have denied it, I was indeed in period of depression. I was never angry with God, but I was disappointed, because I know our Lord is a healer, but my friend and daughter where not healed.

I thought to myself that how could I ever enjoy life again, what is the point of going on if everything I love is being taken from me. Now I wasn’t suicidal (I don’t think) but I was emotional numb.

So, this gets me to the picture of our cat Bullet that I selected for this blog. I always been okay with cats but I could live without them. So, one day my wife decides to bring this kitten home and I was like why? But watching this little ball of fur run around, get into mischief, lay on my feet, purr as it would nibble on my nose, I began to laugh and smile once again, (we ended up with another cat “Duke” as Bullet was supposed to be a boy and turned out to be a girl and I’m okay with that).

Our cats didn’t save my life for only Jesus Christ can do that but they did change me to start enjoying life which is one thing we need to remember when going through grief is that it will be okay to smile, laugh, and have a good time one day and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it!

Psalms 34:18, “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”

The last thing I want to share about grief is that it has made me even more aware of how much I need Jesus in my life, He never left me nor forsook me during my grief or my entire life and one day I will be in His marvelous presence, Revelations 21:4, “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

What is Christmas About to me?

: what-christmas-means-to-me-1-638

By Pastor Jeff,

I asked this question on Facebook recently and received answers that I pretty much expected, “salvation, the greatest gift, and God’s love” these are answers I agree with wholeheartedly. Isaiah 9:6, “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”

I must let it be know that I love Christmas, though the commercialism of it can be sometimes overwhelming, but even with that I can smile at. Since my grand kids came along my love for Christmas has grown as I get great joy in finding out what gifts they would like, the shopping for; whether on-line or in the store I find exciting, and then seeing the joy on their faces as they open their gifts.

I love that we have the opportunity to share the gospel as it seems people are more open to the message of Jesus Christ coming into the world to save sinners, who I am chief. John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” becomes a powerful verse at this time of the year.

With that I must say that the last and this years Christmas is different in many ways for in the fall of 2018 I lost a good friend and my eldest son passed away, then this past January my youngest daughter also passed on after a battle with cancer. This of course has devastated me as I’m sure many before me that have gone through similar instances have. The interesting thing is that I don’t feel sorry for myself but have become more aware of those around who Christmas or any holiday, birthday, anniversary that has become hard to face.

I’m aware that though I still have that joy since I have hope in Christ Jesus, others don’t, and even those that do can struggle immensely. I understand that pain even with this hope and I realize that some will go through depression, anger, sadness that many can never understand. I become more sensitive to those and though I love this holiday I have learned the hard way that we can’t just brush people off and ignore the real hurt that is going on in their lives. 2Corinthians 1:3-4, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

To those that are going through tough times, who are hurting, who are mourning a loved one, I want to let you know that you are not alone, and God loves you and is with you in these times. Knowing this is what kept me and still keeps me going even though there is a great hole in my heart!

If you don’t know this God who loved you so much that He became a child, lived, suffered, died, and rose again so that we may have a hope beyond this corrupt world, I encourage you to find a bible believing church. If you are a believer and still are having a hard time, I also encourage you with the word from Apostle Paul in Romans 8:18, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” This life is temporal and relatively short but we will have an eternity to spend with Jesus Christ and our loved ones who have become Born Again.

This is what Christmas means to me this year!

My prayer for you is of comfort, hope, peace, and even that you may find joy this Christmas season, God Bless you!

picture care of: https://www.slideshare.net/

Christian’s and Suicide

suicide

By Pastor Jeff,

Will a Christian that commits suicide go to heaven? That is a question that is in much dispute and I must say that I will not come to a definitive answer in this blog, but I will share some thoughts and let you come to your own conclusion. The reason I can’t make that definitive answer is that I’m not God and I do not claim to have answers to every question that man seeks answers to. However like the Apostles Paul did occasionally I will deliver my opinion on the matter.

In our bible we can recall six suicides mentioned, Abimelech (Judges 9:54), Saul (1 Samuel 31:4), Saul’s armor-bearer (1 Samuel 31:4–6), Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23), Zimri (1 Kings 16:18), and Judas (Matthew 27:5). If we want to add Samson to this equation we find seven! Everyone is tragic in its own right and everyone, even Judas was done under extreme moments of depression, fear, and despair.

I have in the last few years and more heavily this past year have studied Mental Health and especially how it is handled by the Church. I found that my past thoughts on the subject were severely lacking and judgmental. I can easily blame those that have in the past blamed any mental health issue on a lack of faith, seeking attention, or worse declaring those affected as being demon possessed. But this belief is just a cop out that I had to come to terms with as a christian first, a brother in the Lord, and then a pastor.

I have found out that this area is very complicated not only in the world but also in the church, I need to admit that I don’t have all the answers, nor do I know all of the questions but I’m searching with an honest heart. In looking at the word of God with this new perspective I have found that though our God is awesome, He chooses people that are very flawed to do His work. The prophet Elijah is one that jumps out at me, in 1 Kings 18 we find Elijah part of a great conquest on Mt. Carmel against 450 prophets of Baal. When we look at chapter 19 we find this same prophet fleeing under the death threat from Jezebel, verse 4, “But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.” Sounds to me that Elijah was severely depressed to the point of wishing to die.

The problem we have as Christians that the bible declares in Exodus 20:13, “Thou shalt not kill.” Could we not say that suicide is in violation of this commandment? After all you are taking death which is appointed by God into your own hands. I in recently years have seen extreme suffering by non Christians and Christians alike not only physically but emotionally. I in no way will defend someone that takes his or hers own life but I will not and cannot stand in judgment of them either. Jesus Christ is the one who has the keys, Revelations 1:17-18, “And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.” It is “He” that will open the books, Revelations 20:11-12, “And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.”

In most cases of suicide, no one is there at the time of the passing of the person, only God knows what the state of mind that person was in or the conversation they may have had with our Lord at the moment or time prior to them passing. Listen I don’t have the power to put anyone in nor take anyone out of heaven. That’s God business, I preach the gospel, do my best to love everyone, and keep studying the scriptures to have a reason of my hope. I take comfort in these words found in Romans 8:38-39, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Let God be God!

picture care of: sites.stedwards.edu

No Such Thing as a SuperPastor!

SuperPastor

By Pastor Jeff,

Recently I saw a post of a very young pastor with a beautiful wife and three young children that committed suicide. The article went to say that he was suffering depression which prompted a thought which I will share here.

I believe the modern day church especially what has become “Super Churches” doesn’t really match up to the description of how the pastor/bishop and the church is to operate according scripture. Titus 1:6-9, “If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.”

In the church today we have senior pastors (never mentioned in scripture) who are appointed according to credentials rather than calling. I find it reproachable that churches have to take out ads, then go through an arduous process to replace or hire a pastor in said church. No wonder we have pastors leaving the ministry and even the faith as a whole when they find themselves under scrutiny from “The Board” and the never ending watch of those sitting in the pews. Pastors find themselves many times on the outside looking in when it comes to fellowship with anyone outside of leadership which leads to isolation and sometimes depression.

I ask you are pastors super human or are they sinners saved by the Grace of Jesus Christ? Ephesians 4:11-12, “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.” Who is the giver? the board?, the congregation? No, Pastors are called and chosen by our Lord. The only one we need to please is Jesus, the only one we should be following is Jesus, the only one we should answer to is Jesus! That’s pressure enough, the church has become more of a business that a ministry. Who hasn’t watched old shows that have portrayed the Pastor as more of a friend who was invited over to dinner, family functions, respected as the Shepherd but treated as a fellow human being, rather than a CEO who can be fired and hired if he ever offends a member of the board.

I’m a servant, first of Jesus Christ, then my fellow man, the Apostle Paul put it best when he said in 1 Timothy 1:12-15, “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry; Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.” AMEN!

picture care of; www.patheos.com